Why I Will Never Have Dreadlocks Again

My wife prefers a clean cut look. Don’t get me wrong, she likes dreadlocks, but she likes one option over the other.

I’ve learned that saying “I do” also means saying “I will...acknowledge and accept your preferences and do my best to make you happy.”

Please don’t hear a cliche like “happy wife, happy life.” It’s still my hair and my body, and I want to present myself in a way that makes me happy and affirms my self esteem. However, let’s be clear: Leah didn’t ask me to compromise my integrity or forego my individuality. A matter of fact, she didn’t ask for anything.

In the regular conversations of life, I discovered one of her preferences.  At that moment, I was given a choice: Do I consider her preferences or do I not? And that question lead to more in-depth ones: Why do I care about my appearance? Is it just for my satisfaction? Is it for the approval of others? Both?

The only people I care about pleasing with my appearance are God, Leah, and myself, and I have a feeling God is indifferent regarding my hairstyle. This only leaves me and Leah. Will I feel bad about myself if I have a short haircut? No. Will I like the way I look with a short haircut? Yes, I will like it no more or no less than dreadlocks. So what reasons do I have to ignore or fight her preferences beyond pride and my desire to feel in charge? I don’t have any.

I haven’t even got to the best part yet. If I decide to keep a clean cut look because Leah likes the way I look, I am the one making a decision to please her and communicate my love to her. The result is her knowing there are few things she doesn’t have influence over in my life and there’s almost nothing being withheld from her. (I said almost because I’m still a work in progress.) Suddenly, there’s much more value associated with the style of my haircut, and I chose to make Leah feel considered and respected.

Goodbye, dreads. I planned to one day grow you back before I started balding, but Leah prefers a fade so you lose. Besides, you’re high maintenance and require too much time, that is, if I plan on looking more like Andrew McCutchen as opposed to Lil’ Wayne.

What are some of the simple things you have sacrificed (or plan to sacrifice in the future) for your mate’s preferences? Please share it with us in the comment section below. It's nice to be reminded that we're not the only ones sacrificing and comprising in the name of love. :-)