Four Ways To Reconnect With Your Spouse

We’re much busier these days. We’ve had plenty of late nights in front of our laptops, spent quite a few hours in airport terminals and occasionally, one of us has gone to bed without the other. When we’re busy like this, it’s so easy for us to breeze through spending quality time together. The result? We’re cranky, snap at each other easily and feel distant.

So we try to be intentional and recalibrate. You need that every now and then. These are a few of the ways we reconnnect with each other:

Take a roadtrip. What’s better than being trapped in a small space for a few hours with your best friend? Kevin and I have some of the best conversations when we’re driving. We don’t even turn on the radio. We spend the majority of our time catching up, listening to new music and old music and laughing together.

Go for a walk with no technology. Sometimes it’s nice to spend a little time with nature and it’s even better when you do it with someone you love. We took a nearly four-mile walk at the local greenway the other day and it was wonderful! There’s something about being surrounded by tall oak trees and an endless sky to remind you of the larger world around you.

Do an activity together. I know this will make us sound super old and boring, but we’ve taken up the game of Sudoku. We snuggle super closely and complete a puzzle together. We also enjoy catching up on our some of our favorite shows and traveling. Just as long as we’re together, every activity is better.

Reconnect. ;-) In whatever way works for you guys. Take your time. Enjoy it. Rinse and repeat.

Why I Chose To Change My Last Name

If you had asked me all throughout high school, college and even a year or so before we got married, I would’ve told you that under no circumstances was I going to change my last name. Ever. And if you asked me why I took such a bold — vehement, even — stance on the matter, I’d roll my eyes first and then tell you:

1. I like my name.
2. I’m not changing myself for any guy.
3. My dad never had sons so it’s up to me to keep the family name going.

These were just a few of the examples, OK, excuses, for why I had decided I would never change my last name. The truth was, though, I was afraid. Afraid of losing myself. Afraid of giving everything away to “some guy.” At most, I’d add a hyphen, but even that was a stretch.

A few things caused my resolve to melt. First, Kevin offered to add my maiden name to his name. And while others might think he was just saying that to make me give in, I know that he truly meant it. That was huge for me, that Kevin didn’t mind changing his name for me. I also learned to trust him. I trusted in his love, that he wasn’t going anywhere. His family is also pretty cool and it became a source of pride for me to become a part of his family in that way.

Even more, us sharing a last name strengthens our bond as husband and wife. Some might think that it’s just a name, but I love being called Mrs. Jennings. I feel like we’re our own two-member team. I feel like I’ve got reinforcement when I need it; I feel stronger. It may sound cheesy to some, but it’s pretty dang important to me.

What are your thoughts on changing your last name? Do you or did you share some of the same thoughts I had? Share your comments below.

2.5 Years In: 10 Ways We Keep Our Marriage Healthy (And How You Can, Too)

A couple of months ago, two of our friends got hitched. After the wedding, we wanted to send them a card to complement our gift. We figured we’d do what every other married couple does – give unsolicited advice, but hopefully in a fun, practical way.

Instead of reserving our wisdom (see opinions and experiences) exclusively for our offline friends, we wanted to share our tips with you as well. So, new online friend, here are 10 things we do to keep our marriage spry:

1. Shower together often.
2. Schedule a date night each week and put it on the calendar.
3. Hug, kiss, and pray together each morning before going to work.
4. Help each other around the house. Bonus points if you do it without being asked.
5. Never commit to anything without first checking with your spouse.
6. Together, read The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman and Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by Dr. John Gray.
7. Don’t let three days pass without having sex.
8. At the end of each day, ask each other “What do you need from me?”
9. Spend time alone or with other friends on a regular basis.
10. Read a devotional together each day. (Jesus Calling by Sarah Young is a great option. Short and sweet.)

That’s it! Simple enough, huh?

Now, please don’t see this as wisdom from two sages. A few things on this list we decided to do intentionally before we got married, but most of these were stumbled into accidentally, stolen from another couple with more life experience than us or gleaned through a tough time in our marriage. Consider this us paying it forward.

I’ve personally learned these basic actions work because they help you maintain a physical, emotional and spiritual connection with your spouse despite the pull of life’s commitments.

Will you give the list a shot? If you’re married, is there something you and your spouse regularly do that we should consider adding? If you’re not married, is there something you’ve heard from others that you’d like to do after getting hitched? Let us know in the comments section below!