Why I Love Celebrating a Monthly Anniversary

As November 16, 2008 approached, I made a quick and, at the time, insignificant decision to celebrate the one-month mark of my wife Leah and my dating relationship. Yes, I’d know her since I was 3 years old. Yes, we went to school together until we were 14 years old. Yes, we’d been friends for as long as I can remember, but this moment was different so I wanted to celebrate it.

I brainstormed for a few hours on the right gifts to give and even asked my mother for advice. I wanted it to be perfect. As an admitted man of many words, I knew the gift wouldn’t be complete without a greeting card to express my feelings to her. After writing from my heart and narrating each word in my mind as if it were a scene in P.S. I Love You or The Notebook, it was time to apply a closing salutation. I couldn’t say “happy anniversary” because we’d only been together for 31 days. I turned to my favorite research partner, Google, for help. I believe I searched something about “monthly anniversary.” The results led me to a forum where it suggested the word “lunaversary” (Other sites referred to it as a “mensiversary.”)  The meaning was rooted in something scientific that sounded smart so I immediately accepted it and signed off “Happy Lunaversary!”

My first lunaversary gift to Leah – a small pocket calendar outlining the events and milestones that occurred during our first four weeks as a couple. It includes experiences like the first time we held hands and what movie we watched on our first date.

Sixty-seven lunaversaries later, we are still going, and my appreciation for them deepens with time. At the beginning, I was a young man drunk with the newness of love. Now, I’m a slightly-older young man who learned to somehow do more than anxiously sit by the phone hoping every vibration represented a new message from the love of my life. (You may think that’s a bad thing, but back in the fall of 2008 I could barely get work done because my brain was literally overtaken by thoughts of her. Honestly, if I kept that up, I’d be unemployable.)

With three gray hairs firmly planted in my head, which makes me 0.03% wiser, I now celebrate lunaversaries for three reasons:

1. Lunaversaries are the perfect excuse to express my love to my wife. As our relationship has matured both in time and the complexity of our challenges, I haven’t always done the best job of continuing to do the little things I used to. At times, I’ve downright sucked at communicating to my wife that she is still special to me and the most beautiful woman in the world. I’ve allowed my desire to be a dependable husband to drive me to work long hours and focus on life’s many responsibilities. For guys like me, each lunaversary is a standing appointment to show my wife my appreciation. (Gentlemen, lunaversaries serve as great date nights.)
2. They are an opportunity to reflect on what my wife means to me, what we’ve been through together, and what her presence in my life has meant to me. It’s also a chance to dream about what’s in store for us and our family. Magically, every time I stop and meditate on our relationship and our love for one another, I experience a spirit of gratitude for my entire life.
3. Lunaversaries bring me closer to my childhood dream of having an over-the-top, in love relationship like Zack Morris and Kelly Kapowski on Saved by the Bell. Seriously, this guy set the bar high. Don’t believe me; just watch and look into his eyes. You can feel the love Zack has for Kelly. There’s no way I’m going to let a paid actor and terrible writers communicate manufactured love better than the real love I feel for Leah. (Zack, consider yourself challenged.)

Even if celebrating your relationship each month sounds cheesy or childish, I would consider giving it a chance. It worked for Zack and Kelly, and it’s worked for Leah and I. We’re not perfect. I’m perpetually removing my foot from my mouth, but I cherish the opportunity to show Leah that I love her and I’ll happily be cheesy if it helps her know it.

Happy Lunaversary!

Do you already celebrate a lunaversary? If so, what’s your favorite part about celebrating each month? If you’re not currently celebrating a lunaversary, are you going to give it a shot? Please leave a comment below. We'd love to hear your thoughts on lunaversaries.